Bathing Suit Season

This year I have felt much better about myself in my bathing suits.  Mostly because I've kept off 15lbs that I lost at the beginning of the year, but also because my "fat suits" fit much better and more comfortably this year! 

As a mother I feel like it's hard to feel good about yourself, long after you've given birth.  I've always struggled with my weight since college, and to feel this pleased with myself is a new feeling to have. 

So ladies, if you're feeling down and out about your body after baby, don't give up hope. It's all about how you see yourself, and I think my whole mindset has changed overall about motherhood, and I'm cherishing it more than I ever thought I would.  Squish tells me "mommy pretty" all the time, and we all know toddlers don't lie! 😂

Remember that you can always make changes, today, tomorrow, in a week, or in a year! 

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Letting go of the FitBit & sugar

I have been an avid user of the Fitbit for the last 3 years now.  My hubs got me one for Valentine's day (no he wasn't trying to tell me something, I asked for it), and I have been solely dedicated to getting my 10K steps and exercises daily now for the past 3 years. 

However, for Lent (not catholic) I decided to give up sugar.  Any desserts, sweets, candy, or added sugar in products that I was able to read on the nutrition label.  As a sweet surprise to me (pun not intended), I've done rather well.  I have had a few "cheat" days here and there, but all in all I have not reached for that Reese's cup when I get hungry, or gotten the 500 calorie latte I normally do.  Rather I go for a good cup of coffee with just a splash of non-fat cream, and to snack on I get some fruit, cheese or yogurt (no sugar added).  I've been surprised at how well I was doing.  When I started this adventure, I was very shaky.  Physically shaking.  I thought perhaps this was because of my anxiety, but the more I think about it, I think it was because I wasn't eating sugar!  My body had become so used to and dependent on the sweet stuff, that it had a hard time letting go!

Now, you're probably thinking, Kate, what does this have to do with your fitbit divorce?  Well, let me tell you, I have lost 15 lbs since December.  7 of those pounds were due to food poisoning, but amazing enough, I was able to keep off that weight, and lose even more as I altered my diet.  I got tired of looking at my FitBit app and realizing I hadn't walked 10,000 steps, or realizing that perhaps I only walked 15 minutes today instead of 30, and it was getting disheartening.  I was beating myself up over it mentally, and feeling guilty for not pleasing my FitBit.

I went to get a physical for work, and it was then, on the doctor's scale (we all know they're off) that I saw my weight loss, and I was astounded!  I couldn't believe my eyes. And I had all my clothes on!  And I did all of this without meeting daily and weekly goals set by a tiny gadget worn on my wrist every day.  Lets be honest, they are not the most fashionable accessory, and really ruined a lot of outfits for me. 

So while FitBit encouraged me in the beginning to get moving, and helped me take off the baby weight once Marlo was born, it's time for me to let it go, and know that I can do this on my own.  I have the confidence, and capabilities to take weight off, and keep it off, without something buzzing on my arm every 10,000 steps.  I also plan on sticking to the no sugar added diet.  I think it will help my overall health, and my family's health since I won't buy any junk! 

Farewell FitBit!  It's been a great 3 years, but it's time for me to move on!  Maybe we will see one another in the future again.

Temper Tantrums, YIKES!

So, I thought the 2's were supposed to be terrible, not the 21 months!  Marlo had her first ever, full out temper tantrum last night (thankfully we were home) and for no apparent reason.  She had to go to daycare full time this week as grandpa and grandma were out of town.  I'm thinking she was exhausted, but it lasted about 30 minutes, and for no reason at all. As I was holding her after her nap, (she was calm) I sat down in a chair and she freaked out!  Wet noodle, on the floor, screaming her head off. My husband and I quickly learned that if we ignored her, the crying (pterodactyl noises) would stop.  But the moment you made eye contact with that little dinosaur, the fight was on again! 

We were planning on meeting a friend for dinner, so by the time we were about 20 minutes late, we decided to just go for it.  Elmo (me) suggested we go outside and walk around, which seemed to calm her down for about 30 seconds.  My husband fought with her to get in the car seat, but once she was strapped in, she stopped screaming and began politely talking to us like nothing ever happened....WHAT??!?! 

Maybe she realized we weren't giving in.  Maybe she realized that we had plans, and we weren't going to stop them because of her fits.  Or maybe she was exhausted (as were we) after throwing herself around for 30 minutes for no damn reason!  Once we got to dinner, she was content, happy, and running around like her normal self. She was smiling with our friend and playing peek-a-boo. 

Toddlers are bipolar!  I work in the mental health field, so I am not trying to bash anyone with bipolar, trust me, I've lived with people that have severe cases.  But holy hell what was going on in that kids mind that she had to wet noodle throw herself in a tizzy on the floor and spin around and scream for literally 30 minutes?  Has anyone ever hooked up a brain scan to a toddler during a temper tantrum?  Probably not, because they are afraid of losing a limb while trying to attach it!  Oye Vey! 

Good luck parents of this age, we all need to stick together!

Raising A Daughter In The #metoo Era

I am typically a quiet participant when it comes to politics and going on's in the world, but lately the #metoo movement has really hit a soft spot.  When the initial sexual harassment allegations began, it almost seemed to me like a scheme because there were so many claims.  I quickly realized I was being naive, and recognized that 20+ years ago, it was NOT okay to speak up for yourself as a women. Women were designed to cook, clean, and make babies. (HA!) I recognized each woman coming forward was giving strength to the next woman in line.  Each woman that stood up for herself, was empowering the one after her to do the same, hence the vast numbers of powerful survivors. (Forehead slap)

I live in a small town, that not only is male dominated, but some women continue with old world thinking. Thank goodness some residents are trying to make a change.  Our local newspaper recently published an article that outrageously suggested that women who prompted the #metoo movement, who were raped, sexually assaulted, or harassed 40 years ago need to "get over it."  He compared it to the McCarthy Era. EXCUSE ME!?  Being a woman, and also a victim, this was extremely offensive.  A ridiculous ideal from what seems to be an old man bound by ignorance.  A man perceiving harassment as this has no idea what it is like to be sexualized or spoken to because of your body or gender.  A very good friend of mine sent in the most amazing and beautfully spoken rebuttle to this man's pure ignorance.  https://www.indianagazette.com/opinion/to-women-girls-everywhere-i-am-with-you/article_6a7cf34e-fdfe-11e7-aa28-13e4ab5fc2d5.html?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=user-share

It started to terrify me to think about raising a daughter in these times.  In 2018, there still remains so much ignorance within our country about women, minorities, genders, races, ect.  How women can be perceived is disgusting, and it makes me want to help the nation make a change.

I recently read an article (I searched high and low to reference this article, but damned if I can find it) where a woman was talking about how she was raised to "be sweet".  She made a commitment to her daughters to change this. She talked about the challenges she is facing amongst her family to raise her daughters to "be kind" rather than sweet.  She stated in the article something about teaching our daughters that being kind and standing up for themselves, is vastly different than being a "sweet" doormat.

As a woman I have been sexually harassed.  Thankfully, my parents didn't raise a "sweet" woman.  They raised a woman to be strong, kind, independent, and to be able to stand up for herself.  And in my predicament I stood up for myself and took back the power that the man harassing me was trying to gain. 

I plan on doing the same with my daughter, making her kind, yet strong.  Powerful, independent, and  empowering her.  I don't want her to become a victim, ever.  If, some day she finds herself in an uncomfortable situation, I want her to be able to stand up for herself without getting the blame.  I want her to take charge of her life, and shout to the world #metoo!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone! 2018, wow, I just can't even believe it's here!  I feel like the hubs and I just found out we were pregnant in 2015!  Crazy how time flies when you're having fun.

I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions, but I do resolve to blog more often about more interesting topics so hopefully I can get some followers that can relate to things I am going through.  I may start to review the products I use for Marlo and hope to help others find things that work for them and their babies. 

Another resolution I have is to get a handle on my anxiety.  I have started with a new therapist and she is wonderful!  She has already given me some tools for my toolbox in order to calm myself down when I feel like I am getting anxious, and we've only met once!  And guess what, these things work!  She assured me she feels that my anxiety can be helped without the use of medication, (which only causes me more anxiety!)  I have found that I have a fear of medication!  I meet with a psychiatrist later this week, and we will see what he has to say, but hopefully he's willing to work with my fear and give the talk therapy thing a try first.

I've also been keeping myself extremely busy, and it was helpful that the month of December was the 12 Days of Fitness at our YMCA.  I was able to not only get my 12 days, but got a handle on my fitness which I feel is a great way to start off the new year!  I've found that I am enjoying Zumba again, and I also tried PIYO which was a blast!  For those of you that don't know, PIYO is a mix between pilates and yoga, and really works muscle groups I didn't even know I had!

Share your New Years resolutions with me, I'd love to hear some of them!  May you all be healthy and prosperous in 2018.  (I talk like I have followers, ha!)

PANIC Attacks!!!

Hey folks, I don't think I have a lot of followers, but I wanted to touch on something serious that happened to me this past weekend. 

On Sunday morning around 5am I woke up with a horrible migraine.  I got up, took one regular tylenol, and tried to go back to sleep.  In my futile attempt to return to my slumber, I realized, I couldn't!  It felt like I was struggling to breath, and my mind was racing.  This went on for several hours. 

I woke up my husband finally around 7am and told him what was happening.  As I paced around the house, he sat drinking his coffee trying to calm me down, and of course analyzing what was happening, which was not the most helpful thing.  He then tried to get me to sit and take deep breaths.  This seems to work for a minute, but then my throat started to feel like it was closing.  I finally announced I needed to go to the ER, I thought I was having a heart attack!

Let me tell you, the quickest way to get into the ER to be seen is to tell them you cannot breath.  I was in a room and robe in a jif!  As I sat waiting for a nurse or doctor I started to feel like my symptoms were getting worse, and my jaw started to tighten and get tingly.  Finally the ER doc made his appearance, and he politely told me I was having a panic attack.  WHAT?!  ME?  A panic attack?  How could this be?

I Immediately started crying and told my husband I "felt like an asshole".  How could this be happening to me, this is embarrassing, and worse, it made me feel like a horrible mother as my squish was there with us.  Of course not knowing how long we would be, my husband called his parents to come pick up the kiddo, which meant more people knew what was happening.  The ER took blood and did an EKG just be safe, but all came back normal.  The doctor prescribed me 1mg of Ativan, however, I was so nervous about taking medication that I asked for half of the dose, which actually worked wonders.  It did make me a bit dizzy, but I felt so much calmer and more myself again.

I didn't realize that I have been dealing with anxiety for so long after having my baby.  I knew I had some mild anxiety prior to being pregnant, but after she was born, it just escalated, and eventually turned into this panic attack.  I'm happy that I know I'm not having cardiac issues at this point, and have done a bit of research on how to control my body when it occurs again.  It's ultimately making time for myself, and managing my emotions, not bottling things up, and making sure I am expelling the built up energy I tend to have. 

Although I'm still slightly embarrassed that this happened, I am happy I am able to know what do next time it occurs, because there will be a next time.  To top everything off, I think that my anxiety is now higher that I know I have real, full blown anxiety.  I'm following up with my PCP at the end of the month.

My husband has struggled to understand and deal with my ups and downs, but he's getting the hang of it, and I am getting the hang of apologizing and making him aware of how I'm feeling each day. 

For all the mom's out there that have dealt with this, don't be embarrassed.  Talk about it, and allow yourself to understand that you will be able to heal from this, and eventually get your feelings and emotions in control. 

Strong Mom

I never knew how strong I could be until I had a child.  I never knew that in the face of danger, I could face that danger head on, and not know the fear I came in contact with until it was over.  I never knew that when my baby girl was hurting, I would have to put on a brave face, and handle the situation like a boss!

I also never knew how weak and vulnerable I could be when I became a mom.  Until recently, Marlo has been very happy and healthy.  Last week she developed an ear infection, and like any normal parent, we put her on an antibiotic.  Little did we know, Marlo would develop a severe allergic reaction to Amoxicillin, 8 days AFTER she started the antibiotic.  She woke up this morning with both eyes swollen shut, and her face so puffy that she didn't even want to eat.  I immediately started crying when I looked at her, not only because I felt badly for her, but also because there was absolutely nothing I could do to provide her relief.

My husband and I rushed her to the ER and there she was placed on steroids which are already helping.

The feeling of helplessness is something that I have never felt the way I did today.  Sobbing on my husbands shoulder and having to leave the room when they took her blood made me feel like a horrible mother, but also reminded me that I am human.

Desmond

Does this look like a face that would harm anyone?  I'm going to go on the tirade of Pit Bulls, and Pit mixes get a bad wrap.  Desmond is 5 years old.  My husband and I got him from our local shelter when he was just 11 weeks old.  He and all 10 of his siblings were left in a box with their mom on the side of a local highway.  Mom was loose and got hit and killed by a car.  Luckily, a good citizen stopped to see if she was still alive and found the pups.

Des is labeled as a border collie mix....excuse me?  While Mom apparently looked like a border collie, Desmond, certainly does NOT!  He's got the brindle coat, and a mouth full of teeth that go back further than you can see.  While he has the smaller stature of a border collie, he's got some pit in there too.

People are actually afraid of my handsome man, and will move off of a sidewalk to avoid us when we're walking.  In the meantime, Des is wagging his tail and just wanting to lick them to death.

I've been reading a lot of stories in the news lately about cities and towns banning these types and breeds from being owned.  Thousands of them are being "humanely" euthanized each month, and while there are a lot of activist out there fighting for these breeds, there are not enough.  I think it's time as a society that we start taking responsibility for the behavior that some of the bully breeds exhibit. After all, we learn from what we live with!

You cannot expect an abused Pit Bull to be adopted within a month and act like a normal dog, particularly if they were used in a fighting ring in some way, whether as the aggressor, or the bait. These dogs need time, just like people, to be rehabilitated, and to be shown that there are good things in this world.  Any breed of dog has the opportunity to be aggressive if abused and mistreated.  And we, as people, as the higher species, need to start recognizing this, and saying, it's not the dogs fault, it's the owner.

Desmond was fortunate enough to be treated fairly after he was abandon.  He was bottle fed and kept with his siblings until they were all ready to be adopted.  The handling and care at this young age is extremely important when it comes to raising a dog.  Desmond did not even bark for the entire first year that my husband and I had him, we thought he was mute!  Border Collies and Pit Bulls are known for being vocal, so we're not sure where his silence came from.  He does bark now, but it's more of a bark/howl.  I feel 100% safe with this boy, and I think if we were in danger, yes that aggressive nature would come out, but he really just wants loving and snacks.

He's turning out to be a wonderful dog, and ever since Marlo has come into the picture, he's been by her side watching, making sure she's alright.  I never hesitate when it comes to those two playing together, and while I do keep an eye on them, mostly to save Desmond from toddler harm, it wouldn't cross my mind that he would ever bite or attack Marlo, mostly because of the respect and the hierarchy we've created in our household from the very beginning.  It's like raising a child, you have to set expectations and rules, and also allow them to be part of the family.  Des was our first "baby" in a sense, allowing us to care and raise something into a valuable member of the family, and of society. (He's somewhat of a local celebrity)

Lets take a step forward, and start taking responsibility for the actions we like to blame others for!

***I apologize for the serious post today***

Am I the only one?

Lately I have been reading the book, "I Just Want to Pee Alone."  It is a compilation of stories mostly taken from parenting blogs.  They are put together to allow other parents to find humor in their own difficult situations when dealing with their children.  While it's extremely entertaining, I do not come across many stories that speak highly of parenthood, and it has been making me feel like I am the only one in the world that enjoys being a parent.

I recently read one story about only child parents getting the wrath of parents with multiple children because they don't think having just one child is as difficult as several.  This kind of upset me because, I only have one child as of right now, yes, but also, having one is very hard.  And don't get me wrong, I think I am the only parent in my group of friends that doesn't constantly complain about their child (yet), but that's only because I tend to focus more on the positive end of parenting rather than all the negative stuff.  As only having one child, that means that my husband and I are experiencing every first, and all the frustrations and learning how to deal with them all for the first time.  I think sometimes, parents of multiple children forget how hard that first time parent thing can be.  I'm sure having more than one is extremely difficult, (which I'm willing to try at some point), but I have also come to realize that these people never mention their partners, whether it's a husband or significant other.  Where is the support?!

My husband is a FANTASTIC father.  I could not have been more blessed with the person I chose to have children with.  Marty is extremely involved with Marlo, and loves her and I to bits.  He is able to see when I am getting frustrated, and will immediately take over and give me a break if needed.  And I do the same for him.  We always end up laughing in the end, even after Marlo has thrown a tantrum because I won't let her eat the dog food.  I understand that not everyone has a partner, but there is a point in parenthood where you have to be able to ask someone, anyone, grandparent, aunt/uncle, friend, for help.  We've all heard the saying "It takes a village", and it really does. It bugs me when all of these bloggers, and even my friends just make humor about complaining about their children.  Children are a gift.  We are so lucky to have Marlo, as we had some struggles trying to get pregnant, and I know other friends that have struggled as well.

I guess what I am trying to say is that parents needs to focus on the positives and the beauty of their children, regardless of what they broke that week, or the picture they drew on the wall.  Quit complaining about being a parent and embrace it.  And if you can't ask for help, that's your fault.  I learned a long time ago, I cannot tackle everything on my own, especially my kid.  So when I'm getting stressed or overwhelmed I ask for help.  I'm not a religious person, but, love and cherish that child, because before you know they will be grown up and on their own.

Sorry about my rant!

The Working Mom

I always get the lecture from certain people in my life who feel that I should stay at home every waking moment with my daughter.  Not only does this make me feel bad anytime I make time for myself, but it also makes me think how crazy we both would go if I did such a thing. Everyone needs a break from one another, and work is my outlet, my adult time, and Marlo's time with her grandparents and other kids at daycare.

I work as a school counselor in an alternative school setting, and yes, some days are very challenging, but a lot of them are also rewarding.  The benefit of working with "at risk" youth certainly outweighs the downsides.  A lot of the times we have unsuccessful students who end up getting placed within a group home, or dropping out of school.  But, there is always that one success story throughout the year that really makes it all worth it.  If we get more than 1 a year, that's an added bonus!

I recently read an article that stated working mother's (and father's), tend to work on average between parenthood and their normal 8 hour work day, 86 hours plus a week!  No wonder I am exhausted at the end of every day!  I used to think something was wrong with me once I got home and just wanted to nap after work!  Now I know why I am so tired.  I typically tell people, working with teenagers is like being in Washington D.C. traffic for 8 hours.  You must constantly be aware of what is going on around you.  It may not be physically exhausting, but mentally for sure.  Once I am done with work, I try to come home and decompress.  But now that I have a toddler, decompressing is difficult to do at times.

Last year, after I begrudgingly returned to work after my maternity leave with the voices of those SAHM ideas in my head, I was pleasantly greeted by an old student who successfully graduated high school, got a job, and is thinking of becoming a police officer after they complete their time within the Coast Guard.  When that student arrived and shared their success with me thus far, it really made me take a step back and recognize that although I may not help every single student I come in contact with, I always help at least one.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying working mom's are better than stay at home mom's. SAHM have just as much of a job as an outside working mom, if not more.  I give them all credit for entertaining their little one's all day, and enriching their minds so that they grow up to be successful human beings among society, as I try to do at my job with teenagers at school that have lost those skills somewhere along the way.

Whether you're a working parents, or a SAHM, I tip my hat to you.  I have just recognized the SAHM gig is not for me, and I am happy that I no longer fret over whether I am doing the right thing for my family and myself.  Mommy needs adult time, and if that includes a paycheck for 8 hours of my day, I'm cool with that!

I survived!

Any moms out there terrified when it comes to the thought of your husband leaving you alone with the child for a weekend?  Well, I was, but it went surprisingly well!

Marty left to go camping last weekend for basically 3 days.  I was so scared that something was going to go wrong while he was away I had myself in a tizzy!  Eventually, after the first 24 hours, I realized that I am a great mom, and I just kept Marlo and me busy while he was away.  She was actually great, and very well behaved, and I don't think she even cried once!

We went shopping, went out to eat, and even went to the pool.  During our shopping excursions I made the mistake of buying an electronic toy that now repeats on the daily, "the cat says..." because Marlo only has interest in pushing the buttons, not hearing what it has to say.  I immediately regretted the purchase as soon as I took it out of the box, but luckily there is an on/off button. Phew!

I did take Marlo to grandma and grandpa's the one afternoon in order to get some much needed house cleaning caught up, and get myself a shower, but other than that we had a great couple of days together. Not that I don't love all that my hubs does for us, trust me I do!  But while he was away, it was amazing how clean the house stayed, even with a 1-year old in it!  It was also awesome to tell him all of the new things she had learned or acquired in just those few days.  Children really are sponges and do learn something new almost every minute it seems.

So for you moms out there that are worried about the first time you're home alone with your little one while your hubby or significant other is gone for a few days, don't sweat it, you got this!

Pinterest Win!

I just made this for dinner tonight!  FA-BO-LO-US! (Get my 90's rap reference there!)  I highly recommended it.  I did use canned tomatoes because I had them available.  Here is the link I followed from pinterest,  http://tastesbetterfromscratch.com/southwest-tortellini-pasta-salad/.  Thank you Taste Better from Scratch!

This was everything before I added the tortellini and dressing!  YUM!

PMDD...Premenstrual Dysmorphic Disorder

After I had Marlo my emotions were a MESS!  I would cry, every day, literally, every day at 5:30pm. Not sure whether this time of day is when my body made internal changes or what, but I would just start bawling.  I soon learned that if I kept myself busy or distracted, the crying wouldn't happen. Phew!
Once I had the 5:30 pm cry sessions resolved I thought I would just go through normal hormonal changes until after about a year post-baby.  WRONG!  I had slowly become so angry during PMS that I could hear myself and it upset me to know that I was being mean and mad, yet every time I would try and fix it, I couldn't.  It became very frustrating, so I finally decided to call my doctor.

Let me first start off by saying that I LOVE MY OB/GYN.  I heard that she was going part-time, and almost had a heart attack.  I'm not done having babies, she can't do this to me! This was later confirmed untrue.  I made an appointment with her and we determined that as she went through the laundry list of symptoms I was having that I now have PMDD or Premenstrual Dysmorphic Disorder.  I'm sure a lot of you are pondering to yourselves whether this is just a cop out for being a raging B**** the week before Aunt Flo arrives.  WRONG!

PMDD is described by WebMD as follows, "It causes emotional and physical symptoms, like PMS, but women with PMDD find their symptoms debilitating, and they often interfere with their daily lives, including work, school, social life, and relationships." http://www.webmd.com/women/pms/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder#1

As I continued to read more and more about this, the thing that bothered me the most was that my PMDD was interrupting the somewhat harmonious relationship my husband and I used to have.  I was constantly bickering with him or yelling at him for stupid things.  I felt horrible for how I was treating him, and I didn't want my baby girl to grow up when me behaving like this!

My OB/GYN put me on birth control (ortho-cyclin) to see if this would simply level out my hormonal disfunction and get me back to "normal."  She said that if I didn't recognize a noticeable difference within the next 3 months to go back to her office, and we would try adding an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication in the mix.  She said that I can simply start taking one when I notice the symptoms coming on, and I don't have to take it all of the time.  I'm still a bit skeptical on taking anti-depressants, even though I'm in the mental health industry and tell people to take their medications all the time, but it's a scary thing.  Having something in your body, when really you don't know what it's doing to your brain chemistry.  At least they know with birth control that it works with your hormones, whereas a lot of anti-depressants and anxiety medications are kind of a trial and error process with each individual.  I feel a bit better with the birth control, but I am going to give it the full 3 months to make sure it's working to the best of it's ability.  

Please feel free to comment if you're having similar experiences.  I would like to chat with those to see what you all have tried.

Bad Mom?

This week has been a week where I have found myself asking several times, "Am I an inadequate parent?  Is my daughter getting what she needs? Am I a bad mom?!"  I have realized the answer to all of these questions is "no", and that every parent goes through this sort of thing once and awhile.  Aside from the mounds of coffee, multiple beers and glasses of wine, several naps, and plethora of swear words I have had to use, I just feel like I can't do anything right in the eyes of my child.

Marlo has been a bear this week!  I'm not sure whether she is getting more teeth, or going through a growth spurt, or probably both, but she has been so grumpy, and that's not like her.  I think I am so used to her being happy-go-lucky, that when she is cranky, I am doing something wrong.  Not to mention the fact that I have outsiders basically telling me what's happening with her, meanwhile, they have no clue!

Look, I appreciate your opinion, but that's all it is, an opinion.  You might be correct in your assumption that she has another ear ache, but I am her mother, and all the signs and symptoms are pointing in the opposite direction.  Sometimes I have to yell at myself and make sure that I believe and know that no matter what people say, I am Marlo's mother, and a mother's instinct is to die for.  I know what's going on, and when outsiders make me second guess my parenting, I pull on my girl panties, grab an extra large coffee, and do something fun with my baby girl!

Really? I have to change her where?

Alright boys and girls, lets talk about the fact that not every eating establishment with a public restroom happens to have a changing station for babies and toddlers.  What does this mean for parents?  It means we have to get creative!

I have been to several restaurants lately that have restrooms, but no where to change Marlo.  Sometimes the restroom isn't even big enough for us to both fit in.  So I have to improvise.  I either take her back to the car (no matter how far the walk) to change her, or put her on the floor of a filthy restroom, which I really hate doing.  Otherwise, I'd be happy to change her on the bench or table we are eating on, and all of the other customers would have to be exposed to her exposé!

I have also been impressed on some places that DO have bathrooms with changing stations for little ones.  In fact, Marlo went on her first plane ride in June, and low and behold she pooped as soon as the flight took off!  Once the seat belt sign went off, my husband and I rock, paper, scissored for the glorious opportunity to change her in the tiny bathroom on the plane.  Luckily, Spirit airlines has a decent set up for changing a little one in the almost as little bathroom.  I should have taken a picture, but I was just hurrying to get Marlo cleaned up. (You may notice I lost the game of rock, paper, scissors.) They had an entire table that folded down and basically took up the entire toilet seat. IT WAS AMAZING!  Not only were their staff delightful and mildly humorous, but the changing area for babies and toddlers was sufficient, need I say, better than most Wal-Marts I have been in.

Airport bathrooms were also delightful as they had an entire counter to change your little one on rather than just that pull down plastic table that almost always feels like it's going to collapse under the weight of a 1-year old.  Marlo was not a fan of being changed in public prior to the trip, needless to say the hubs and I were a bit nervous about the experience.  Luckily, due to the unexpected amenities provided, Marlo is not as grumpy when we attempt to change her public.

The family's favorite restaurant is even lacking one.  I have complained to the well known manager several times that we have to take Marlo to the car, change her, and proceed with our dinner.   I don't think those fold down tables are difficult to install.  In fact, I'd do it for you!

Don't worry, you won't lose any "hip/cool" points with the teens and young adults if you include one of these in your public restrooms.  In fact, they probably won't even notice!

A PSA to any establishment knowing they will have children in and out of their doors: PLEASE INCLUDE A CHANGING TABLE! 

Today's Parenting

Loved this article I found through Facebook.  It's so easy to identify with as I work with teenagers every day, and seeing the LACK of parenting and positive role models my kids have in their lives is scary, and sad at the same time.  Check it out!

https://yourot.com/parenting-club/2017/5/24/what-are-we-doing-to-our-children

Commitment

While I have not blogged in almost a year, I am now committed to making this a weekly if not several times a week thing.  One of my good friends from high school recently started her own blog, and I realized how therapeutic this used to be for me.

Marlo is now 13 months old!  Where did the time go?!  I now know why parents say time goes by so quickly, so try and enjoy every single moment.  I try to snuggle with my little squish at least once a day, and I also try and observe her and watch her learn at least once a day.  It is amazing the amount of knowledge and skill she is gaining every day!

At times I second guess whether my husband and I are helping her get the best of the best as far as education, even though she's only 1 year old, I know her brain is like a sponge right now.  I read all kinds of blogs and parenting tips in order to make sure she is getting what she can.  Then I realize, as long as we love, care and support her, she will learn as much as she needs to, at her own pace.

IT IS AMAZING the amount of love my hubs and I have for this little girl.  I often find myself putting myself in positions I never would have before in order to protect her.  Mama Bear coming through!  I've even taken a basic gun safety course, and I'm signed up for an additional class to carry conceal safely.  We travel and do a lot of things in our community and sadly, in today's world you never know!

Welcome to my journey with my now toddler....I promise I will keep blogging!

Hard Times

I've been struggling lately, I feel with perhaps some Post Partum Depression, along with PMS, and the lack of sleep, it's all getting to me!  I feel like I am falling out of place and I can't get back in.  The time change especially has affected me.

I have been waking up at 4:30 am, and the baby has been sleeping through the night again, so I'm a bit exhausted!  I know this is just a phase, as it was when Marlo was waking up again in the middle of the night seemingly famished, but she is slowly starting to get over that.  Marlo has begun eating food, and has also been developing more and has been requiring more attention and entertaining which is also EXHAUSTING.

2 weeks ago I won a massage gift certificate so I am taking full advantage of that this weekend!  I think it's time for a mommy day!  Please if you have any suggestions or recommendations on how to fully my lack of energy I will try anything at this point!

I also think it's time to bake something, baking is good therapy!

Pickling peppers

Love this easy recipe to pickle banana peppers!

Equal parts water and vinegar, I used a 32oz jar, so I had one cup of each water and vinegar.

2 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon course sea salt
Any herbs and spices you may want
Boil this concoction while you clean, slice and prepare your peppers in the jar.

I boil mine about 5 minutes

Pour into jar on top of peppers and voila! Place in the fridge once cooled and wait about a week to use.

They are delicious and last forever!

Enjoy! 🌶

Cake For Breakfast

Let's think about this, cake for breakfast. I'll admit. I've eaten cake for breakfast. Particularly when I was growing up and my dad would be in charge of breakfast in the morning. Sometimes it would be scrambled eggs, other times it would be left over cake or pie my mother made the night before.

My mother would then get upset, but, in my dad's defense, she did make it that night before.

Cake has eggs, milk, sure it has sugar, but you've got protein, vitamin A, calcium, ect. If you go the pie route, you've probably even got some fruit in there!

So let's recap, cake for breakfast is a good, nutritious choice!