Raising A Daughter In The #metoo Era

I am typically a quiet participant when it comes to politics and going on's in the world, but lately the #metoo movement has really hit a soft spot.  When the initial sexual harassment allegations began, it almost seemed to me like a scheme because there were so many claims.  I quickly realized I was being naive, and recognized that 20+ years ago, it was NOT okay to speak up for yourself as a women. Women were designed to cook, clean, and make babies. (HA!) I recognized each woman coming forward was giving strength to the next woman in line.  Each woman that stood up for herself, was empowering the one after her to do the same, hence the vast numbers of powerful survivors. (Forehead slap)

I live in a small town, that not only is male dominated, but some women continue with old world thinking. Thank goodness some residents are trying to make a change.  Our local newspaper recently published an article that outrageously suggested that women who prompted the #metoo movement, who were raped, sexually assaulted, or harassed 40 years ago need to "get over it."  He compared it to the McCarthy Era. EXCUSE ME!?  Being a woman, and also a victim, this was extremely offensive.  A ridiculous ideal from what seems to be an old man bound by ignorance.  A man perceiving harassment as this has no idea what it is like to be sexualized or spoken to because of your body or gender.  A very good friend of mine sent in the most amazing and beautfully spoken rebuttle to this man's pure ignorance.  https://www.indianagazette.com/opinion/to-women-girls-everywhere-i-am-with-you/article_6a7cf34e-fdfe-11e7-aa28-13e4ab5fc2d5.html?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=user-share

It started to terrify me to think about raising a daughter in these times.  In 2018, there still remains so much ignorance within our country about women, minorities, genders, races, ect.  How women can be perceived is disgusting, and it makes me want to help the nation make a change.

I recently read an article (I searched high and low to reference this article, but damned if I can find it) where a woman was talking about how she was raised to "be sweet".  She made a commitment to her daughters to change this. She talked about the challenges she is facing amongst her family to raise her daughters to "be kind" rather than sweet.  She stated in the article something about teaching our daughters that being kind and standing up for themselves, is vastly different than being a "sweet" doormat.

As a woman I have been sexually harassed.  Thankfully, my parents didn't raise a "sweet" woman.  They raised a woman to be strong, kind, independent, and to be able to stand up for herself.  And in my predicament I stood up for myself and took back the power that the man harassing me was trying to gain. 

I plan on doing the same with my daughter, making her kind, yet strong.  Powerful, independent, and  empowering her.  I don't want her to become a victim, ever.  If, some day she finds herself in an uncomfortable situation, I want her to be able to stand up for herself without getting the blame.  I want her to take charge of her life, and shout to the world #metoo!

Desmond

Does this look like a face that would harm anyone?  I'm going to go on the tirade of Pit Bulls, and Pit mixes get a bad wrap.  Desmond is 5 years old.  My husband and I got him from our local shelter when he was just 11 weeks old.  He and all 10 of his siblings were left in a box with their mom on the side of a local highway.  Mom was loose and got hit and killed by a car.  Luckily, a good citizen stopped to see if she was still alive and found the pups.

Des is labeled as a border collie mix....excuse me?  While Mom apparently looked like a border collie, Desmond, certainly does NOT!  He's got the brindle coat, and a mouth full of teeth that go back further than you can see.  While he has the smaller stature of a border collie, he's got some pit in there too.

People are actually afraid of my handsome man, and will move off of a sidewalk to avoid us when we're walking.  In the meantime, Des is wagging his tail and just wanting to lick them to death.

I've been reading a lot of stories in the news lately about cities and towns banning these types and breeds from being owned.  Thousands of them are being "humanely" euthanized each month, and while there are a lot of activist out there fighting for these breeds, there are not enough.  I think it's time as a society that we start taking responsibility for the behavior that some of the bully breeds exhibit. After all, we learn from what we live with!

You cannot expect an abused Pit Bull to be adopted within a month and act like a normal dog, particularly if they were used in a fighting ring in some way, whether as the aggressor, or the bait. These dogs need time, just like people, to be rehabilitated, and to be shown that there are good things in this world.  Any breed of dog has the opportunity to be aggressive if abused and mistreated.  And we, as people, as the higher species, need to start recognizing this, and saying, it's not the dogs fault, it's the owner.

Desmond was fortunate enough to be treated fairly after he was abandon.  He was bottle fed and kept with his siblings until they were all ready to be adopted.  The handling and care at this young age is extremely important when it comes to raising a dog.  Desmond did not even bark for the entire first year that my husband and I had him, we thought he was mute!  Border Collies and Pit Bulls are known for being vocal, so we're not sure where his silence came from.  He does bark now, but it's more of a bark/howl.  I feel 100% safe with this boy, and I think if we were in danger, yes that aggressive nature would come out, but he really just wants loving and snacks.

He's turning out to be a wonderful dog, and ever since Marlo has come into the picture, he's been by her side watching, making sure she's alright.  I never hesitate when it comes to those two playing together, and while I do keep an eye on them, mostly to save Desmond from toddler harm, it wouldn't cross my mind that he would ever bite or attack Marlo, mostly because of the respect and the hierarchy we've created in our household from the very beginning.  It's like raising a child, you have to set expectations and rules, and also allow them to be part of the family.  Des was our first "baby" in a sense, allowing us to care and raise something into a valuable member of the family, and of society. (He's somewhat of a local celebrity)

Lets take a step forward, and start taking responsibility for the actions we like to blame others for!

***I apologize for the serious post today***