I survived!

Any moms out there terrified when it comes to the thought of your husband leaving you alone with the child for a weekend?  Well, I was, but it went surprisingly well!

Marty left to go camping last weekend for basically 3 days.  I was so scared that something was going to go wrong while he was away I had myself in a tizzy!  Eventually, after the first 24 hours, I realized that I am a great mom, and I just kept Marlo and me busy while he was away.  She was actually great, and very well behaved, and I don't think she even cried once!

We went shopping, went out to eat, and even went to the pool.  During our shopping excursions I made the mistake of buying an electronic toy that now repeats on the daily, "the cat says..." because Marlo only has interest in pushing the buttons, not hearing what it has to say.  I immediately regretted the purchase as soon as I took it out of the box, but luckily there is an on/off button. Phew!

I did take Marlo to grandma and grandpa's the one afternoon in order to get some much needed house cleaning caught up, and get myself a shower, but other than that we had a great couple of days together. Not that I don't love all that my hubs does for us, trust me I do!  But while he was away, it was amazing how clean the house stayed, even with a 1-year old in it!  It was also awesome to tell him all of the new things she had learned or acquired in just those few days.  Children really are sponges and do learn something new almost every minute it seems.

So for you moms out there that are worried about the first time you're home alone with your little one while your hubby or significant other is gone for a few days, don't sweat it, you got this!

Pinterest Win!

I just made this for dinner tonight!  FA-BO-LO-US! (Get my 90's rap reference there!)  I highly recommended it.  I did use canned tomatoes because I had them available.  Here is the link I followed from pinterest,  http://tastesbetterfromscratch.com/southwest-tortellini-pasta-salad/.  Thank you Taste Better from Scratch!

This was everything before I added the tortellini and dressing!  YUM!

PMDD...Premenstrual Dysmorphic Disorder

After I had Marlo my emotions were a MESS!  I would cry, every day, literally, every day at 5:30pm. Not sure whether this time of day is when my body made internal changes or what, but I would just start bawling.  I soon learned that if I kept myself busy or distracted, the crying wouldn't happen. Phew!
Once I had the 5:30 pm cry sessions resolved I thought I would just go through normal hormonal changes until after about a year post-baby.  WRONG!  I had slowly become so angry during PMS that I could hear myself and it upset me to know that I was being mean and mad, yet every time I would try and fix it, I couldn't.  It became very frustrating, so I finally decided to call my doctor.

Let me first start off by saying that I LOVE MY OB/GYN.  I heard that she was going part-time, and almost had a heart attack.  I'm not done having babies, she can't do this to me! This was later confirmed untrue.  I made an appointment with her and we determined that as she went through the laundry list of symptoms I was having that I now have PMDD or Premenstrual Dysmorphic Disorder.  I'm sure a lot of you are pondering to yourselves whether this is just a cop out for being a raging B**** the week before Aunt Flo arrives.  WRONG!

PMDD is described by WebMD as follows, "It causes emotional and physical symptoms, like PMS, but women with PMDD find their symptoms debilitating, and they often interfere with their daily lives, including work, school, social life, and relationships." http://www.webmd.com/women/pms/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder#1

As I continued to read more and more about this, the thing that bothered me the most was that my PMDD was interrupting the somewhat harmonious relationship my husband and I used to have.  I was constantly bickering with him or yelling at him for stupid things.  I felt horrible for how I was treating him, and I didn't want my baby girl to grow up when me behaving like this!

My OB/GYN put me on birth control (ortho-cyclin) to see if this would simply level out my hormonal disfunction and get me back to "normal."  She said that if I didn't recognize a noticeable difference within the next 3 months to go back to her office, and we would try adding an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication in the mix.  She said that I can simply start taking one when I notice the symptoms coming on, and I don't have to take it all of the time.  I'm still a bit skeptical on taking anti-depressants, even though I'm in the mental health industry and tell people to take their medications all the time, but it's a scary thing.  Having something in your body, when really you don't know what it's doing to your brain chemistry.  At least they know with birth control that it works with your hormones, whereas a lot of anti-depressants and anxiety medications are kind of a trial and error process with each individual.  I feel a bit better with the birth control, but I am going to give it the full 3 months to make sure it's working to the best of it's ability.  

Please feel free to comment if you're having similar experiences.  I would like to chat with those to see what you all have tried.

Bad Mom?

This week has been a week where I have found myself asking several times, "Am I an inadequate parent?  Is my daughter getting what she needs? Am I a bad mom?!"  I have realized the answer to all of these questions is "no", and that every parent goes through this sort of thing once and awhile.  Aside from the mounds of coffee, multiple beers and glasses of wine, several naps, and plethora of swear words I have had to use, I just feel like I can't do anything right in the eyes of my child.

Marlo has been a bear this week!  I'm not sure whether she is getting more teeth, or going through a growth spurt, or probably both, but she has been so grumpy, and that's not like her.  I think I am so used to her being happy-go-lucky, that when she is cranky, I am doing something wrong.  Not to mention the fact that I have outsiders basically telling me what's happening with her, meanwhile, they have no clue!

Look, I appreciate your opinion, but that's all it is, an opinion.  You might be correct in your assumption that she has another ear ache, but I am her mother, and all the signs and symptoms are pointing in the opposite direction.  Sometimes I have to yell at myself and make sure that I believe and know that no matter what people say, I am Marlo's mother, and a mother's instinct is to die for.  I know what's going on, and when outsiders make me second guess my parenting, I pull on my girl panties, grab an extra large coffee, and do something fun with my baby girl!

Really? I have to change her where?

Alright boys and girls, lets talk about the fact that not every eating establishment with a public restroom happens to have a changing station for babies and toddlers.  What does this mean for parents?  It means we have to get creative!

I have been to several restaurants lately that have restrooms, but no where to change Marlo.  Sometimes the restroom isn't even big enough for us to both fit in.  So I have to improvise.  I either take her back to the car (no matter how far the walk) to change her, or put her on the floor of a filthy restroom, which I really hate doing.  Otherwise, I'd be happy to change her on the bench or table we are eating on, and all of the other customers would have to be exposed to her exposé!

I have also been impressed on some places that DO have bathrooms with changing stations for little ones.  In fact, Marlo went on her first plane ride in June, and low and behold she pooped as soon as the flight took off!  Once the seat belt sign went off, my husband and I rock, paper, scissored for the glorious opportunity to change her in the tiny bathroom on the plane.  Luckily, Spirit airlines has a decent set up for changing a little one in the almost as little bathroom.  I should have taken a picture, but I was just hurrying to get Marlo cleaned up. (You may notice I lost the game of rock, paper, scissors.) They had an entire table that folded down and basically took up the entire toilet seat. IT WAS AMAZING!  Not only were their staff delightful and mildly humorous, but the changing area for babies and toddlers was sufficient, need I say, better than most Wal-Marts I have been in.

Airport bathrooms were also delightful as they had an entire counter to change your little one on rather than just that pull down plastic table that almost always feels like it's going to collapse under the weight of a 1-year old.  Marlo was not a fan of being changed in public prior to the trip, needless to say the hubs and I were a bit nervous about the experience.  Luckily, due to the unexpected amenities provided, Marlo is not as grumpy when we attempt to change her public.

The family's favorite restaurant is even lacking one.  I have complained to the well known manager several times that we have to take Marlo to the car, change her, and proceed with our dinner.   I don't think those fold down tables are difficult to install.  In fact, I'd do it for you!

Don't worry, you won't lose any "hip/cool" points with the teens and young adults if you include one of these in your public restrooms.  In fact, they probably won't even notice!

A PSA to any establishment knowing they will have children in and out of their doors: PLEASE INCLUDE A CHANGING TABLE! 

Today's Parenting

Loved this article I found through Facebook.  It's so easy to identify with as I work with teenagers every day, and seeing the LACK of parenting and positive role models my kids have in their lives is scary, and sad at the same time.  Check it out!

https://yourot.com/parenting-club/2017/5/24/what-are-we-doing-to-our-children

Commitment

While I have not blogged in almost a year, I am now committed to making this a weekly if not several times a week thing.  One of my good friends from high school recently started her own blog, and I realized how therapeutic this used to be for me.

Marlo is now 13 months old!  Where did the time go?!  I now know why parents say time goes by so quickly, so try and enjoy every single moment.  I try to snuggle with my little squish at least once a day, and I also try and observe her and watch her learn at least once a day.  It is amazing the amount of knowledge and skill she is gaining every day!

At times I second guess whether my husband and I are helping her get the best of the best as far as education, even though she's only 1 year old, I know her brain is like a sponge right now.  I read all kinds of blogs and parenting tips in order to make sure she is getting what she can.  Then I realize, as long as we love, care and support her, she will learn as much as she needs to, at her own pace.

IT IS AMAZING the amount of love my hubs and I have for this little girl.  I often find myself putting myself in positions I never would have before in order to protect her.  Mama Bear coming through!  I've even taken a basic gun safety course, and I'm signed up for an additional class to carry conceal safely.  We travel and do a lot of things in our community and sadly, in today's world you never know!

Welcome to my journey with my now toddler....I promise I will keep blogging!