Desmond

Does this look like a face that would harm anyone?  I'm going to go on the tirade of Pit Bulls, and Pit mixes get a bad wrap.  Desmond is 5 years old.  My husband and I got him from our local shelter when he was just 11 weeks old.  He and all 10 of his siblings were left in a box with their mom on the side of a local highway.  Mom was loose and got hit and killed by a car.  Luckily, a good citizen stopped to see if she was still alive and found the pups.

Des is labeled as a border collie mix....excuse me?  While Mom apparently looked like a border collie, Desmond, certainly does NOT!  He's got the brindle coat, and a mouth full of teeth that go back further than you can see.  While he has the smaller stature of a border collie, he's got some pit in there too.

People are actually afraid of my handsome man, and will move off of a sidewalk to avoid us when we're walking.  In the meantime, Des is wagging his tail and just wanting to lick them to death.

I've been reading a lot of stories in the news lately about cities and towns banning these types and breeds from being owned.  Thousands of them are being "humanely" euthanized each month, and while there are a lot of activist out there fighting for these breeds, there are not enough.  I think it's time as a society that we start taking responsibility for the behavior that some of the bully breeds exhibit. After all, we learn from what we live with!

You cannot expect an abused Pit Bull to be adopted within a month and act like a normal dog, particularly if they were used in a fighting ring in some way, whether as the aggressor, or the bait. These dogs need time, just like people, to be rehabilitated, and to be shown that there are good things in this world.  Any breed of dog has the opportunity to be aggressive if abused and mistreated.  And we, as people, as the higher species, need to start recognizing this, and saying, it's not the dogs fault, it's the owner.

Desmond was fortunate enough to be treated fairly after he was abandon.  He was bottle fed and kept with his siblings until they were all ready to be adopted.  The handling and care at this young age is extremely important when it comes to raising a dog.  Desmond did not even bark for the entire first year that my husband and I had him, we thought he was mute!  Border Collies and Pit Bulls are known for being vocal, so we're not sure where his silence came from.  He does bark now, but it's more of a bark/howl.  I feel 100% safe with this boy, and I think if we were in danger, yes that aggressive nature would come out, but he really just wants loving and snacks.

He's turning out to be a wonderful dog, and ever since Marlo has come into the picture, he's been by her side watching, making sure she's alright.  I never hesitate when it comes to those two playing together, and while I do keep an eye on them, mostly to save Desmond from toddler harm, it wouldn't cross my mind that he would ever bite or attack Marlo, mostly because of the respect and the hierarchy we've created in our household from the very beginning.  It's like raising a child, you have to set expectations and rules, and also allow them to be part of the family.  Des was our first "baby" in a sense, allowing us to care and raise something into a valuable member of the family, and of society. (He's somewhat of a local celebrity)

Lets take a step forward, and start taking responsibility for the actions we like to blame others for!

***I apologize for the serious post today***

Am I the only one?

Lately I have been reading the book, "I Just Want to Pee Alone."  It is a compilation of stories mostly taken from parenting blogs.  They are put together to allow other parents to find humor in their own difficult situations when dealing with their children.  While it's extremely entertaining, I do not come across many stories that speak highly of parenthood, and it has been making me feel like I am the only one in the world that enjoys being a parent.

I recently read one story about only child parents getting the wrath of parents with multiple children because they don't think having just one child is as difficult as several.  This kind of upset me because, I only have one child as of right now, yes, but also, having one is very hard.  And don't get me wrong, I think I am the only parent in my group of friends that doesn't constantly complain about their child (yet), but that's only because I tend to focus more on the positive end of parenting rather than all the negative stuff.  As only having one child, that means that my husband and I are experiencing every first, and all the frustrations and learning how to deal with them all for the first time.  I think sometimes, parents of multiple children forget how hard that first time parent thing can be.  I'm sure having more than one is extremely difficult, (which I'm willing to try at some point), but I have also come to realize that these people never mention their partners, whether it's a husband or significant other.  Where is the support?!

My husband is a FANTASTIC father.  I could not have been more blessed with the person I chose to have children with.  Marty is extremely involved with Marlo, and loves her and I to bits.  He is able to see when I am getting frustrated, and will immediately take over and give me a break if needed.  And I do the same for him.  We always end up laughing in the end, even after Marlo has thrown a tantrum because I won't let her eat the dog food.  I understand that not everyone has a partner, but there is a point in parenthood where you have to be able to ask someone, anyone, grandparent, aunt/uncle, friend, for help.  We've all heard the saying "It takes a village", and it really does. It bugs me when all of these bloggers, and even my friends just make humor about complaining about their children.  Children are a gift.  We are so lucky to have Marlo, as we had some struggles trying to get pregnant, and I know other friends that have struggled as well.

I guess what I am trying to say is that parents needs to focus on the positives and the beauty of their children, regardless of what they broke that week, or the picture they drew on the wall.  Quit complaining about being a parent and embrace it.  And if you can't ask for help, that's your fault.  I learned a long time ago, I cannot tackle everything on my own, especially my kid.  So when I'm getting stressed or overwhelmed I ask for help.  I'm not a religious person, but, love and cherish that child, because before you know they will be grown up and on their own.

Sorry about my rant!

The Working Mom

I always get the lecture from certain people in my life who feel that I should stay at home every waking moment with my daughter.  Not only does this make me feel bad anytime I make time for myself, but it also makes me think how crazy we both would go if I did such a thing. Everyone needs a break from one another, and work is my outlet, my adult time, and Marlo's time with her grandparents and other kids at daycare.

I work as a school counselor in an alternative school setting, and yes, some days are very challenging, but a lot of them are also rewarding.  The benefit of working with "at risk" youth certainly outweighs the downsides.  A lot of the times we have unsuccessful students who end up getting placed within a group home, or dropping out of school.  But, there is always that one success story throughout the year that really makes it all worth it.  If we get more than 1 a year, that's an added bonus!

I recently read an article that stated working mother's (and father's), tend to work on average between parenthood and their normal 8 hour work day, 86 hours plus a week!  No wonder I am exhausted at the end of every day!  I used to think something was wrong with me once I got home and just wanted to nap after work!  Now I know why I am so tired.  I typically tell people, working with teenagers is like being in Washington D.C. traffic for 8 hours.  You must constantly be aware of what is going on around you.  It may not be physically exhausting, but mentally for sure.  Once I am done with work, I try to come home and decompress.  But now that I have a toddler, decompressing is difficult to do at times.

Last year, after I begrudgingly returned to work after my maternity leave with the voices of those SAHM ideas in my head, I was pleasantly greeted by an old student who successfully graduated high school, got a job, and is thinking of becoming a police officer after they complete their time within the Coast Guard.  When that student arrived and shared their success with me thus far, it really made me take a step back and recognize that although I may not help every single student I come in contact with, I always help at least one.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying working mom's are better than stay at home mom's. SAHM have just as much of a job as an outside working mom, if not more.  I give them all credit for entertaining their little one's all day, and enriching their minds so that they grow up to be successful human beings among society, as I try to do at my job with teenagers at school that have lost those skills somewhere along the way.

Whether you're a working parents, or a SAHM, I tip my hat to you.  I have just recognized the SAHM gig is not for me, and I am happy that I no longer fret over whether I am doing the right thing for my family and myself.  Mommy needs adult time, and if that includes a paycheck for 8 hours of my day, I'm cool with that!