Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone! 2018, wow, I just can't even believe it's here!  I feel like the hubs and I just found out we were pregnant in 2015!  Crazy how time flies when you're having fun.

I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions, but I do resolve to blog more often about more interesting topics so hopefully I can get some followers that can relate to things I am going through.  I may start to review the products I use for Marlo and hope to help others find things that work for them and their babies. 

Another resolution I have is to get a handle on my anxiety.  I have started with a new therapist and she is wonderful!  She has already given me some tools for my toolbox in order to calm myself down when I feel like I am getting anxious, and we've only met once!  And guess what, these things work!  She assured me she feels that my anxiety can be helped without the use of medication, (which only causes me more anxiety!)  I have found that I have a fear of medication!  I meet with a psychiatrist later this week, and we will see what he has to say, but hopefully he's willing to work with my fear and give the talk therapy thing a try first.

I've also been keeping myself extremely busy, and it was helpful that the month of December was the 12 Days of Fitness at our YMCA.  I was able to not only get my 12 days, but got a handle on my fitness which I feel is a great way to start off the new year!  I've found that I am enjoying Zumba again, and I also tried PIYO which was a blast!  For those of you that don't know, PIYO is a mix between pilates and yoga, and really works muscle groups I didn't even know I had!

Share your New Years resolutions with me, I'd love to hear some of them!  May you all be healthy and prosperous in 2018.  (I talk like I have followers, ha!)

PANIC Attacks!!!

Hey folks, I don't think I have a lot of followers, but I wanted to touch on something serious that happened to me this past weekend. 

On Sunday morning around 5am I woke up with a horrible migraine.  I got up, took one regular tylenol, and tried to go back to sleep.  In my futile attempt to return to my slumber, I realized, I couldn't!  It felt like I was struggling to breath, and my mind was racing.  This went on for several hours. 

I woke up my husband finally around 7am and told him what was happening.  As I paced around the house, he sat drinking his coffee trying to calm me down, and of course analyzing what was happening, which was not the most helpful thing.  He then tried to get me to sit and take deep breaths.  This seems to work for a minute, but then my throat started to feel like it was closing.  I finally announced I needed to go to the ER, I thought I was having a heart attack!

Let me tell you, the quickest way to get into the ER to be seen is to tell them you cannot breath.  I was in a room and robe in a jif!  As I sat waiting for a nurse or doctor I started to feel like my symptoms were getting worse, and my jaw started to tighten and get tingly.  Finally the ER doc made his appearance, and he politely told me I was having a panic attack.  WHAT?!  ME?  A panic attack?  How could this be?

I Immediately started crying and told my husband I "felt like an asshole".  How could this be happening to me, this is embarrassing, and worse, it made me feel like a horrible mother as my squish was there with us.  Of course not knowing how long we would be, my husband called his parents to come pick up the kiddo, which meant more people knew what was happening.  The ER took blood and did an EKG just be safe, but all came back normal.  The doctor prescribed me 1mg of Ativan, however, I was so nervous about taking medication that I asked for half of the dose, which actually worked wonders.  It did make me a bit dizzy, but I felt so much calmer and more myself again.

I didn't realize that I have been dealing with anxiety for so long after having my baby.  I knew I had some mild anxiety prior to being pregnant, but after she was born, it just escalated, and eventually turned into this panic attack.  I'm happy that I know I'm not having cardiac issues at this point, and have done a bit of research on how to control my body when it occurs again.  It's ultimately making time for myself, and managing my emotions, not bottling things up, and making sure I am expelling the built up energy I tend to have. 

Although I'm still slightly embarrassed that this happened, I am happy I am able to know what do next time it occurs, because there will be a next time.  To top everything off, I think that my anxiety is now higher that I know I have real, full blown anxiety.  I'm following up with my PCP at the end of the month.

My husband has struggled to understand and deal with my ups and downs, but he's getting the hang of it, and I am getting the hang of apologizing and making him aware of how I'm feeling each day. 

For all the mom's out there that have dealt with this, don't be embarrassed.  Talk about it, and allow yourself to understand that you will be able to heal from this, and eventually get your feelings and emotions in control.