This year I have felt much better about myself in my bathing suits. Mostly because I've kept off 15lbs that I lost at the beginning of the year, but also because my "fat suits" fit much better and more comfortably this year!
As a mother I feel like it's hard to feel good about yourself, long after you've given birth. I've always struggled with my weight since college, and to feel this pleased with myself is a new feeling to have.
So ladies, if you're feeling down and out about your body after baby, don't give up hope. It's all about how you see yourself, and I think my whole mindset has changed overall about motherhood, and I'm cherishing it more than I ever thought I would. Squish tells me "mommy pretty" all the time, and we all know toddlers don't lie! 😂
Remember that you can always make changes, today, tomorrow, in a week, or in a year!
https://media.giphy.com/media/50rJushu3URtS/giphy.gif
Wednesday, June 13, 2018
Thursday, March 22, 2018
Letting go of the FitBit & sugar
I have been an avid user of the Fitbit for the last 3 years now. My hubs got me one for Valentine's day (no he wasn't trying to tell me something, I asked for it), and I have been solely dedicated to getting my 10K steps and exercises daily now for the past 3 years.
However, for Lent (not catholic) I decided to give up sugar. Any desserts, sweets, candy, or added sugar in products that I was able to read on the nutrition label. As a sweet surprise to me (pun not intended), I've done rather well. I have had a few "cheat" days here and there, but all in all I have not reached for that Reese's cup when I get hungry, or gotten the 500 calorie latte I normally do. Rather I go for a good cup of coffee with just a splash of non-fat cream, and to snack on I get some fruit, cheese or yogurt (no sugar added). I've been surprised at how well I was doing. When I started this adventure, I was very shaky. Physically shaking. I thought perhaps this was because of my anxiety, but the more I think about it, I think it was because I wasn't eating sugar! My body had become so used to and dependent on the sweet stuff, that it had a hard time letting go!
Now, you're probably thinking, Kate, what does this have to do with your fitbit divorce? Well, let me tell you, I have lost 15 lbs since December. 7 of those pounds were due to food poisoning, but amazing enough, I was able to keep off that weight, and lose even more as I altered my diet. I got tired of looking at my FitBit app and realizing I hadn't walked 10,000 steps, or realizing that perhaps I only walked 15 minutes today instead of 30, and it was getting disheartening. I was beating myself up over it mentally, and feeling guilty for not pleasing my FitBit.
I went to get a physical for work, and it was then, on the doctor's scale (we all know they're off) that I saw my weight loss, and I was astounded! I couldn't believe my eyes. And I had all my clothes on! And I did all of this without meeting daily and weekly goals set by a tiny gadget worn on my wrist every day. Lets be honest, they are not the most fashionable accessory, and really ruined a lot of outfits for me.
So while FitBit encouraged me in the beginning to get moving, and helped me take off the baby weight once Marlo was born, it's time for me to let it go, and know that I can do this on my own. I have the confidence, and capabilities to take weight off, and keep it off, without something buzzing on my arm every 10,000 steps. I also plan on sticking to the no sugar added diet. I think it will help my overall health, and my family's health since I won't buy any junk!
Farewell FitBit! It's been a great 3 years, but it's time for me to move on! Maybe we will see one another in the future again.
However, for Lent (not catholic) I decided to give up sugar. Any desserts, sweets, candy, or added sugar in products that I was able to read on the nutrition label. As a sweet surprise to me (pun not intended), I've done rather well. I have had a few "cheat" days here and there, but all in all I have not reached for that Reese's cup when I get hungry, or gotten the 500 calorie latte I normally do. Rather I go for a good cup of coffee with just a splash of non-fat cream, and to snack on I get some fruit, cheese or yogurt (no sugar added). I've been surprised at how well I was doing. When I started this adventure, I was very shaky. Physically shaking. I thought perhaps this was because of my anxiety, but the more I think about it, I think it was because I wasn't eating sugar! My body had become so used to and dependent on the sweet stuff, that it had a hard time letting go!
Now, you're probably thinking, Kate, what does this have to do with your fitbit divorce? Well, let me tell you, I have lost 15 lbs since December. 7 of those pounds were due to food poisoning, but amazing enough, I was able to keep off that weight, and lose even more as I altered my diet. I got tired of looking at my FitBit app and realizing I hadn't walked 10,000 steps, or realizing that perhaps I only walked 15 minutes today instead of 30, and it was getting disheartening. I was beating myself up over it mentally, and feeling guilty for not pleasing my FitBit.
I went to get a physical for work, and it was then, on the doctor's scale (we all know they're off) that I saw my weight loss, and I was astounded! I couldn't believe my eyes. And I had all my clothes on! And I did all of this without meeting daily and weekly goals set by a tiny gadget worn on my wrist every day. Lets be honest, they are not the most fashionable accessory, and really ruined a lot of outfits for me.
So while FitBit encouraged me in the beginning to get moving, and helped me take off the baby weight once Marlo was born, it's time for me to let it go, and know that I can do this on my own. I have the confidence, and capabilities to take weight off, and keep it off, without something buzzing on my arm every 10,000 steps. I also plan on sticking to the no sugar added diet. I think it will help my overall health, and my family's health since I won't buy any junk!
Farewell FitBit! It's been a great 3 years, but it's time for me to move on! Maybe we will see one another in the future again.
Saturday, March 3, 2018
Temper Tantrums, YIKES!
So, I thought the 2's were supposed to be terrible, not the 21 months! Marlo had her first ever, full out temper tantrum last night (thankfully we were home) and for no apparent reason. She had to go to daycare full time this week as grandpa and grandma were out of town. I'm thinking she was exhausted, but it lasted about 30 minutes, and for no reason at all. As I was holding her after her nap, (she was calm) I sat down in a chair and she freaked out! Wet noodle, on the floor, screaming her head off. My husband and I quickly learned that if we ignored her, the crying (pterodactyl noises) would stop. But the moment you made eye contact with that little dinosaur, the fight was on again!
We were planning on meeting a friend for dinner, so by the time we were about 20 minutes late, we decided to just go for it. Elmo (me) suggested we go outside and walk around, which seemed to calm her down for about 30 seconds. My husband fought with her to get in the car seat, but once she was strapped in, she stopped screaming and began politely talking to us like nothing ever happened....WHAT??!?!
Maybe she realized we weren't giving in. Maybe she realized that we had plans, and we weren't going to stop them because of her fits. Or maybe she was exhausted (as were we) after throwing herself around for 30 minutes for no damn reason! Once we got to dinner, she was content, happy, and running around like her normal self. She was smiling with our friend and playing peek-a-boo.
Toddlers are bipolar! I work in the mental health field, so I am not trying to bash anyone with bipolar, trust me, I've lived with people that have severe cases. But holy hell what was going on in that kids mind that she had to wet noodle throw herself in a tizzy on the floor and spin around and scream for literally 30 minutes? Has anyone ever hooked up a brain scan to a toddler during a temper tantrum? Probably not, because they are afraid of losing a limb while trying to attach it! Oye Vey!
Good luck parents of this age, we all need to stick together!
We were planning on meeting a friend for dinner, so by the time we were about 20 minutes late, we decided to just go for it. Elmo (me) suggested we go outside and walk around, which seemed to calm her down for about 30 seconds. My husband fought with her to get in the car seat, but once she was strapped in, she stopped screaming and began politely talking to us like nothing ever happened....WHAT??!?!
Maybe she realized we weren't giving in. Maybe she realized that we had plans, and we weren't going to stop them because of her fits. Or maybe she was exhausted (as were we) after throwing herself around for 30 minutes for no damn reason! Once we got to dinner, she was content, happy, and running around like her normal self. She was smiling with our friend and playing peek-a-boo.
Toddlers are bipolar! I work in the mental health field, so I am not trying to bash anyone with bipolar, trust me, I've lived with people that have severe cases. But holy hell what was going on in that kids mind that she had to wet noodle throw herself in a tizzy on the floor and spin around and scream for literally 30 minutes? Has anyone ever hooked up a brain scan to a toddler during a temper tantrum? Probably not, because they are afraid of losing a limb while trying to attach it! Oye Vey!
Good luck parents of this age, we all need to stick together!
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Raising A Daughter In The #metoo Era
I am typically a quiet participant when it comes to politics and going on's in the world, but lately the #metoo movement has really hit a soft spot. When the initial sexual harassment allegations began, it almost seemed to me like a scheme because there were so many claims. I quickly realized I was being naive, and recognized that 20+ years ago, it was NOT okay to speak up for yourself as a women. Women were designed to cook, clean, and make babies. (HA!) I recognized each woman coming forward was giving strength to the next woman in line. Each woman that stood up for herself, was empowering the one after her to do the same, hence the vast numbers of powerful survivors. (Forehead slap)
I live in a small town, that not only is male dominated, but some women continue with old world thinking. Thank goodness some residents are trying to make a change. Our local newspaper recently published an article that outrageously suggested that women who prompted the #metoo movement, who were raped, sexually assaulted, or harassed 40 years ago need to "get over it." He compared it to the McCarthy Era. EXCUSE ME!? Being a woman, and also a victim, this was extremely offensive. A ridiculous ideal from what seems to be an old man bound by ignorance. A man perceiving harassment as this has no idea what it is like to be sexualized or spoken to because of your body or gender. A very good friend of mine sent in the most amazing and beautfully spoken rebuttle to this man's pure ignorance. https://www.indianagazette.com/opinion/to-women-girls-everywhere-i-am-with-you/article_6a7cf34e-fdfe-11e7-aa28-13e4ab5fc2d5.html?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=user-share
It started to terrify me to think about raising a daughter in these times. In 2018, there still remains so much ignorance within our country about women, minorities, genders, races, ect. How women can be perceived is disgusting, and it makes me want to help the nation make a change.
I recently read an article (I searched high and low to reference this article, but damned if I can find it) where a woman was talking about how she was raised to "be sweet". She made a commitment to her daughters to change this. She talked about the challenges she is facing amongst her family to raise her daughters to "be kind" rather than sweet. She stated in the article something about teaching our daughters that being kind and standing up for themselves, is vastly different than being a "sweet" doormat.
As a woman I have been sexually harassed. Thankfully, my parents didn't raise a "sweet" woman. They raised a woman to be strong, kind, independent, and to be able to stand up for herself. And in my predicament I stood up for myself and took back the power that the man harassing me was trying to gain.
I plan on doing the same with my daughter, making her kind, yet strong. Powerful, independent, and empowering her. I don't want her to become a victim, ever. If, some day she finds herself in an uncomfortable situation, I want her to be able to stand up for herself without getting the blame. I want her to take charge of her life, and shout to the world #metoo!
I live in a small town, that not only is male dominated, but some women continue with old world thinking. Thank goodness some residents are trying to make a change. Our local newspaper recently published an article that outrageously suggested that women who prompted the #metoo movement, who were raped, sexually assaulted, or harassed 40 years ago need to "get over it." He compared it to the McCarthy Era. EXCUSE ME!? Being a woman, and also a victim, this was extremely offensive. A ridiculous ideal from what seems to be an old man bound by ignorance. A man perceiving harassment as this has no idea what it is like to be sexualized or spoken to because of your body or gender. A very good friend of mine sent in the most amazing and beautfully spoken rebuttle to this man's pure ignorance. https://www.indianagazette.com/opinion/to-women-girls-everywhere-i-am-with-you/article_6a7cf34e-fdfe-11e7-aa28-13e4ab5fc2d5.html?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=user-share
It started to terrify me to think about raising a daughter in these times. In 2018, there still remains so much ignorance within our country about women, minorities, genders, races, ect. How women can be perceived is disgusting, and it makes me want to help the nation make a change.
I recently read an article (I searched high and low to reference this article, but damned if I can find it) where a woman was talking about how she was raised to "be sweet". She made a commitment to her daughters to change this. She talked about the challenges she is facing amongst her family to raise her daughters to "be kind" rather than sweet. She stated in the article something about teaching our daughters that being kind and standing up for themselves, is vastly different than being a "sweet" doormat.
As a woman I have been sexually harassed. Thankfully, my parents didn't raise a "sweet" woman. They raised a woman to be strong, kind, independent, and to be able to stand up for herself. And in my predicament I stood up for myself and took back the power that the man harassing me was trying to gain.
I plan on doing the same with my daughter, making her kind, yet strong. Powerful, independent, and empowering her. I don't want her to become a victim, ever. If, some day she finds herself in an uncomfortable situation, I want her to be able to stand up for herself without getting the blame. I want her to take charge of her life, and shout to the world #metoo!
Monday, January 1, 2018
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year everyone! 2018, wow, I just can't even believe it's here! I feel like the hubs and I just found out we were pregnant in 2015! Crazy how time flies when you're having fun.
I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions, but I do resolve to blog more often about more interesting topics so hopefully I can get some followers that can relate to things I am going through. I may start to review the products I use for Marlo and hope to help others find things that work for them and their babies.
Another resolution I have is to get a handle on my anxiety. I have started with a new therapist and she is wonderful! She has already given me some tools for my toolbox in order to calm myself down when I feel like I am getting anxious, and we've only met once! And guess what, these things work! She assured me she feels that my anxiety can be helped without the use of medication, (which only causes me more anxiety!) I have found that I have a fear of medication! I meet with a psychiatrist later this week, and we will see what he has to say, but hopefully he's willing to work with my fear and give the talk therapy thing a try first.
I've also been keeping myself extremely busy, and it was helpful that the month of December was the 12 Days of Fitness at our YMCA. I was able to not only get my 12 days, but got a handle on my fitness which I feel is a great way to start off the new year! I've found that I am enjoying Zumba again, and I also tried PIYO which was a blast! For those of you that don't know, PIYO is a mix between pilates and yoga, and really works muscle groups I didn't even know I had!
Share your New Years resolutions with me, I'd love to hear some of them! May you all be healthy and prosperous in 2018. (I talk like I have followers, ha!)
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
PANIC Attacks!!!
Hey folks, I don't think I have a lot of followers, but I wanted to touch on something serious that happened to me this past weekend.
On Sunday morning around 5am I woke up with a horrible migraine. I got up, took one regular tylenol, and tried to go back to sleep. In my futile attempt to return to my slumber, I realized, I couldn't! It felt like I was struggling to breath, and my mind was racing. This went on for several hours.
I woke up my husband finally around 7am and told him what was happening. As I paced around the house, he sat drinking his coffee trying to calm me down, and of course analyzing what was happening, which was not the most helpful thing. He then tried to get me to sit and take deep breaths. This seems to work for a minute, but then my throat started to feel like it was closing. I finally announced I needed to go to the ER, I thought I was having a heart attack!
Let me tell you, the quickest way to get into the ER to be seen is to tell them you cannot breath. I was in a room and robe in a jif! As I sat waiting for a nurse or doctor I started to feel like my symptoms were getting worse, and my jaw started to tighten and get tingly. Finally the ER doc made his appearance, and he politely told me I was having a panic attack. WHAT?! ME? A panic attack? How could this be?
I Immediately started crying and told my husband I "felt like an asshole". How could this be happening to me, this is embarrassing, and worse, it made me feel like a horrible mother as my squish was there with us. Of course not knowing how long we would be, my husband called his parents to come pick up the kiddo, which meant more people knew what was happening. The ER took blood and did an EKG just be safe, but all came back normal. The doctor prescribed me 1mg of Ativan, however, I was so nervous about taking medication that I asked for half of the dose, which actually worked wonders. It did make me a bit dizzy, but I felt so much calmer and more myself again.
I didn't realize that I have been dealing with anxiety for so long after having my baby. I knew I had some mild anxiety prior to being pregnant, but after she was born, it just escalated, and eventually turned into this panic attack. I'm happy that I know I'm not having cardiac issues at this point, and have done a bit of research on how to control my body when it occurs again. It's ultimately making time for myself, and managing my emotions, not bottling things up, and making sure I am expelling the built up energy I tend to have.
Although I'm still slightly embarrassed that this happened, I am happy I am able to know what do next time it occurs, because there will be a next time. To top everything off, I think that my anxiety is now higher that I know I have real, full blown anxiety. I'm following up with my PCP at the end of the month.
My husband has struggled to understand and deal with my ups and downs, but he's getting the hang of it, and I am getting the hang of apologizing and making him aware of how I'm feeling each day.
For all the mom's out there that have dealt with this, don't be embarrassed. Talk about it, and allow yourself to understand that you will be able to heal from this, and eventually get your feelings and emotions in control.
On Sunday morning around 5am I woke up with a horrible migraine. I got up, took one regular tylenol, and tried to go back to sleep. In my futile attempt to return to my slumber, I realized, I couldn't! It felt like I was struggling to breath, and my mind was racing. This went on for several hours.
I woke up my husband finally around 7am and told him what was happening. As I paced around the house, he sat drinking his coffee trying to calm me down, and of course analyzing what was happening, which was not the most helpful thing. He then tried to get me to sit and take deep breaths. This seems to work for a minute, but then my throat started to feel like it was closing. I finally announced I needed to go to the ER, I thought I was having a heart attack!
Let me tell you, the quickest way to get into the ER to be seen is to tell them you cannot breath. I was in a room and robe in a jif! As I sat waiting for a nurse or doctor I started to feel like my symptoms were getting worse, and my jaw started to tighten and get tingly. Finally the ER doc made his appearance, and he politely told me I was having a panic attack. WHAT?! ME? A panic attack? How could this be?
I Immediately started crying and told my husband I "felt like an asshole". How could this be happening to me, this is embarrassing, and worse, it made me feel like a horrible mother as my squish was there with us. Of course not knowing how long we would be, my husband called his parents to come pick up the kiddo, which meant more people knew what was happening. The ER took blood and did an EKG just be safe, but all came back normal. The doctor prescribed me 1mg of Ativan, however, I was so nervous about taking medication that I asked for half of the dose, which actually worked wonders. It did make me a bit dizzy, but I felt so much calmer and more myself again.
I didn't realize that I have been dealing with anxiety for so long after having my baby. I knew I had some mild anxiety prior to being pregnant, but after she was born, it just escalated, and eventually turned into this panic attack. I'm happy that I know I'm not having cardiac issues at this point, and have done a bit of research on how to control my body when it occurs again. It's ultimately making time for myself, and managing my emotions, not bottling things up, and making sure I am expelling the built up energy I tend to have.
Although I'm still slightly embarrassed that this happened, I am happy I am able to know what do next time it occurs, because there will be a next time. To top everything off, I think that my anxiety is now higher that I know I have real, full blown anxiety. I'm following up with my PCP at the end of the month.
My husband has struggled to understand and deal with my ups and downs, but he's getting the hang of it, and I am getting the hang of apologizing and making him aware of how I'm feeling each day.
For all the mom's out there that have dealt with this, don't be embarrassed. Talk about it, and allow yourself to understand that you will be able to heal from this, and eventually get your feelings and emotions in control.
Saturday, September 23, 2017
Strong Mom
I never knew how strong I could be until I had a child. I never knew that in the face of danger, I could face that danger head on, and not know the fear I came in contact with until it was over. I never knew that when my baby girl was hurting, I would have to put on a brave face, and handle the situation like a boss!
I also never knew how weak and vulnerable I could be when I became a mom. Until recently, Marlo has been very happy and healthy. Last week she developed an ear infection, and like any normal parent, we put her on an antibiotic. Little did we know, Marlo would develop a severe allergic reaction to Amoxicillin, 8 days AFTER she started the antibiotic. She woke up this morning with both eyes swollen shut, and her face so puffy that she didn't even want to eat. I immediately started crying when I looked at her, not only because I felt badly for her, but also because there was absolutely nothing I could do to provide her relief.
My husband and I rushed her to the ER and there she was placed on steroids which are already helping.
The feeling of helplessness is something that I have never felt the way I did today. Sobbing on my husbands shoulder and having to leave the room when they took her blood made me feel like a horrible mother, but also reminded me that I am human.
I also never knew how weak and vulnerable I could be when I became a mom. Until recently, Marlo has been very happy and healthy. Last week she developed an ear infection, and like any normal parent, we put her on an antibiotic. Little did we know, Marlo would develop a severe allergic reaction to Amoxicillin, 8 days AFTER she started the antibiotic. She woke up this morning with both eyes swollen shut, and her face so puffy that she didn't even want to eat. I immediately started crying when I looked at her, not only because I felt badly for her, but also because there was absolutely nothing I could do to provide her relief.
My husband and I rushed her to the ER and there she was placed on steroids which are already helping.
The feeling of helplessness is something that I have never felt the way I did today. Sobbing on my husbands shoulder and having to leave the room when they took her blood made me feel like a horrible mother, but also reminded me that I am human.
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